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Lea Choi​

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Who I Am
 

  • Married & a Parent – Experiencing firsthand the joys and challenges of partnership and raising a child.
     

  • Deeply Curious About Relationships – Fascinated by how people connect, communicate, and evolve together.
     

  • Committed to Depathologizing Difference – Believing there is no single “right” way to love, communicate, or relate.
     

  • Experienced in Non-Traditional Relationships – Passionate about working with couples, polycules, LGBTQIA+ partners, and those in relationships that don’t fit the traditional mold.
     

  • Highly Experienced in Cross-Cultural Relationships – Having lived in Asia for 10 years, I understand the unique challenges and strengths that come with navigating love across cultural backgrounds.
     

  • Rooted in Lived Experience – Personally familiar with masking, adapting to environments that weren’t built for how my brain works, and developing coping strategies for time blindness, sensory sensitivities, and social anxiety.
     

Who I Help
 

  • Couples in Conflict – Breaking cycles of miscommunication, resentment, and recurring arguments to rebuild understanding and connection.
     

  • Couples Recovering from Betrayal – Healing from infidelity, broken trust, or emotional disconnection, whether working toward repair or parting with clarity.
     

  • Couples Facing Major Life Transitions – Strengthening relationships through career changes, parenting challenges, relocation, or other stressors that can create emotional distance.
     

  • High-Conflict & Emotionally Distant Relationships – Helping couples move from anger, criticism, and stonewalling to curiosity, empathy, and mutual support.
     

  • Multicultural & Intercultural Couples – Navigating differences in communication styles, values, and family expectations to foster deeper connection.
     

  • LGBTQIA+, Poly & Kink-Affirming Relationships – Providing a supportive, nonjudgmental space for non-traditional relationships, including polycules, open relationships, and partnerships that challenge conventional norms.
     

Education & Training
 

  • Touro University Worldwide – MFT, 2024
     

  • University of Vermont – M.A. English Literature, 2008
     

  • University of Cincinnati – B.A. English Literature, 2002
     

  • Gottman Method Couples Therapy – Levels 1 & 2
     

  • Narrative Therapy Intensive Training

 

Your Relationship is a Story—And It Can Be Rewritten
 

Every relationship is shaped by the stories we tell about ourselves, our partners, and our struggles.

These stories form over time, influenced by past experiences, emotions, and patterns we fall into.
 

For many couples, those stories sound something like this:
 

  • “We’re just too different.”
     

  • “They don’t care about me the way I care about them.”
     

  • “No matter what I say, it always turns into a fight.”
     

  • “I’ve tried everything, but nothing changes.”
     

  • "We used to be happy—what happened to us?”
     

When we get stuck in these narratives, they start to feel like the truth—like an unchangeable reality. But what if they weren’t? What if your relationship could be seen through a different lens, with new possibilities?
 

That’s what therapy is about: deconstructing the old stories that keep you stuck and rewriting new ones that allow for growth, repair, and connection.

 

What Keeps Couples Stuck?
 

The Stories We Hold About Ourselves
 

Many people enter relationships with beliefs about who they are: “I always have to be the strong one.” “I’m not good at expressing emotions.” “I’m too much for people.”

These self-stories can make it difficult to show up fully in a relationship, leaving one or both partners feeling unseen.
 

Therapy helps:

✅ Identify and challenge unhelpful self-narratives

✅ Explore how past experiences shape current relationship patterns

✅ Create space for self-growth and healing within the partnership

 

The Stories We Hold About Our Partners
 

Over time, partners develop rigid interpretations of each other’s actions:
 

  • “They never listen.”
     

  • “They don’t care about my needs.”
     

  • "They only think about themselves.”
     

Once these stories take hold, every interaction starts to reinforce them, making it harder to see the nuance, effort, and love that still exists beneath the conflict.
 

Therapy helps:

✅ Challenge assumptions and see each other with fresh eyes

✅ Understand how both partners’ experiences shape their behaviors

✅ Replace blame with curiosity, empathy, and mutual understanding

 

The Stories We Hold About the Relationship
 

When a relationship feels strained, partners often start to believe a fixed narrative about what their dynamic is and what it means:
 

  • “We were never really compatible.”
     

  • “We’re too far gone to fix this.”
     

  • “Maybe love just isn’t enough.”
     

Therapy offers a space to explore alternative narratives—ones where growth, repair, and change are possible.
 

 

Rewriting Your Relationship Together
 

Instead of seeing each other as adversaries, therapy helps couples:
 

  • Externalize the problem – Instead of “You never listen,” we reframe it as “How can we create a way of communicating that works for both of us?”
     

  • Name the patterns – Recognizing how you get stuck is the first step to shifting dynamics.
     

  • Create shared meaning – Every couple builds their own culture of connection. Therapy helps you redefine what love, trust, and intimacy look like in your relationship.
     

  • Develop a new story together – One where both partners feel heard, valued, and supported.
     

 

My Personal Journey:
Navigating Love Across Cultures and Neurodiversity

 

I didn’t just study couples dynamics—I’ve lived the challenge of bridging both cultural and neurological differences in my own relationship.
 

I spent 10 years living in Asia, immersed in a culture vastly different from the one I grew up in. That experience shaped how I see relationships, communication, and connection. When I met my partner, I was drawn to their sharp mind, deep focus, and unique way of experiencing the world. But as our relationship deepened, so did the challenges.
 

What felt like emotional distance to me was their way of managing sensory overload. What I longed for in verbal reassurance didn’t come naturally to them. And layered on top of our neurodiverse differences were cultural expectations about love, expression, and togetherness.
 

For years, we misread each other—mistaking neurological and cultural differences for personal shortcomings. The cycle of conflict left us both feeling unseen and alone. It wasn’t until we learned how to communicate in a way that worked for both of us that things began to change.
 

Through therapy, we discovered:
 

💡 Love isn’t just words—it’s also actions, consistency, and presence

💡 Needing space doesn’t mean pulling away—it can be a way to self-regulate

💡 Different communication styles—whether cultural or neurological—aren’t a barrier; they’re an opportunity to grow together
 

This journey completely reshaped how I approach couples counseling. I know how painful the disconnect can feel, but I also know that with the right guidance and tools, real connection is possible—even when crossing both cultural and neurological bridges.

 

Other Areas of Focus
 

  • Attachment & Identity – Mapping attachment patterns and exploring identity
     

  • Life Transitions & Relationship Counseling – Discernment counseling, premarital counseling, conscious uncoupling, polycule communication, and individual life transitions
     

  • Parenting & Family Dynamics – Supporting parents raising neurodiverse children, navigating co-parenting challenges, and fostering healthy family connections
     

  • Multicultural & Intercultural Relationships – Addressing challenges in interracial relationships, intercultural co-parenting, and balancing cultural expectations
     

  • Mental Health & Emotional Well-Being – Social anxiety, gender/identity transformation, and navigating relationships with narcissistic and borderline personality pathology
     

  • Caregiving & Work-Life Balance – Supporting the mental health of caregivers, including those caring for loved ones with dementia and other neurodegenerative conditions

 

Let’s Write a New Chapter for Your Relationship
 

Every couple has struggles, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck in the same story.

With the right support, you can rebuild trust, reconnect emotionally, and create a relationship that feels fulfilling and secure.

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