Soy Kim

Hello, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Soy and I believe that therapy is a sacred space where one comes to learn to re-embrace their most authentic selves as well as their partner’s. These parts of us that were once labeled as cute, charming, or safe, have now become nuisances, being written off as “too sensitive,” “needy,” or “cold,” “disconnected.”

 

Together, it is my hope to create a place where you can re-examine the strengths in yourselves and the other, remember what was alluring in the first place, and how might you renegotiate your relationship with new discoveries. My approach is balanced: Gentle yet firm, non-shaming and affirming, without enabling, and it is in my nature to support those who may feel stuck, unseen or unheard, to find their voice and bridge the connection where there is disconnect.

 

COUPLES STRUGGLING WITH TRAUMA:

With over six years of experience working with survivors of sexual assault, I have worked with clients where one or both partners have experienced sexual assault (either as a child, adult, or both) and as a result, impacted their relationship. In our work together, we may begin building the capacity for more compassion, learning skills and tools that support communicating one’s truth as well as taking in the truth of others, and finding healing from the relationship.

 

PARENTING AFTER CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE:

No parent ever plans or imagines that their child(ren) may be the victim of sexual abuse, but unfortunately, this does occur. Sexual abuse, or any type of trauma, can sometimes shatter a family structure and parenting oftentimes is heavily impacted, as well as the intimacy between the couple. There may be disagreements with how to continue raising your child(ren), which family they should continue to have a relationship with or avoid, what role will each parent will play. I am here to support and guide you through the process as you navigate what feels right for you and your family.

 

AFFAIR RECOVERY:

Being the product of an affair, I have seen the shame that is associated with affairs. Shame often has the effect of making us want to hide and avoid facing what has happened or the impact. While it may feel safer to avoid at first, this may have long-term, undesirable consequences on your relationship. My goal in supporting couples through affair recovery is to take the shame out of the conversation so that we may see what’s going on beneath it; to hold a space where you can be transparent, authentic, and intimate.

 

NEURODIVERSE COUPLES:

Sometimes, it isn’t a mismatch in our personalities or values that impacts couples in challenging ways—sometimes, it’s our biology, and how does one change their biology?

 

I offer neurodiverse couples the space, tools, and skills to both celebrate the relationship and also examine areas where there may be some challenges, learning how to respond to these challenges in a more connected way. Another part of my role is to help facilitate conversations that may challenge you to slow down to not just hear what your partner is saying, but to also take in their intention. Our world is so fast-paced, sometimes we forget to take a step back not just to listen to the words, but to hear what’s being said.

 

Another important piece to this is education and awareness: We will take the time to learn more about yourselves and how you relate to your partner, as well as understand the biology of your AS partner. The goal here is to help gain a better understanding about oneself and the other, so that when opportunities show up to connect, you can do so in a more attuned way.

 

I honor the relationship you have already built so far and look forward to seeing how else I can help nurture its growth.

 

“When we reveal ourselves to our partner and find that this brings healing rather than harm, we make an important discovery—that intimate relationship can provide a sanctuary from the world of facades, a sacred space where we can be ourselves, as we are…This kind of unmasking—speaking our truth, sharing our inner struggles, and revealing our raw edges—is sacred activity, which allows two souls to meet and touch more deeply.”

 

-John Welwood

 

Specialties:

•   Couples struggling with trauma

•   Communication and emotional intimacy

•   Parenting after child sexual abuse

•   Addiction & codependency

•   Affair recovery

•   Neurodiverse couples

 

Clients:

Couples, adults (young, middle, older), adolescents

 

Modalities:

Trauma-informed, Attachment-Based, Humanistic Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Harm-Reduction, Narrative Therapy, Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Relational Therapy, Psychodynamic

Languages:

Fluent in English and Korean

 

License:

Registered Associate Marriage & Family Therapist, AMFT #119664

Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452

 

Contact:

Email: soykim.therapy@gmail.com

Phone: 650-273-0914